Hey there! About me: An average office lady who happens to have an unusual interest in the whole dating and relationship scene. No one’s sliding me any sponsorship for this blog post (though I wouldn’t mind if they did 🙂), so you’re getting the real deal—might be a tad subjective, but it’s all me and 200% genuine.
My simple goal here is to give a down-to-earth perspective on using dating apps to look for a long-term partner. ‘Should I try dating apps?’ – Curious about my take on the question? Let’s jump right into the good stuff.
*The content was initially written in Vietnamese—check it out here
Should I Try Dating Apps to Look for Committed Relationships?
Totally!
Being a bit of an extrovert in the introverted scene (yet in the extroverted world, I lean towards introversion), my social circle is pretty straightforward. It hasn’t seen much changes in years. That’s likely why most of my dating and relationship experiences have been through dating apps.
But just because I like them doesn’t mean you will too and that’s totally fine. I don’t think dating apps are for everyone.
If you’ve given dating apps a shot and had less-than-pleasant experiences, swearing off them forever, I get it. I’ve been there. Just don’t let it discourage you; keep exploring different paths to find love.
If you’re kinda on the fence, wondering whether you should join a dating app to find a real-deal love, let me just put it out there – Heck, yes!
I’ve got three big reasons that I think really make a difference. Plus, we’ll chat about the pros and cons of dating apps, whether you should give them a try, and if they’re worth it.
Ready to roll? Let’s go!
#1. Connecting with People You’d Otherwise Never Crossed Paths in Real Life
That’s undoubtedly the biggest perk of dating apps compared to real-life or any other dating methods.
I share no common ground with most people I’ve met through dating apps. My job, my place, or the spots I usually hang out at – almost nothing aligns with theirs. Without dating apps, chances are my current partner and I would forever be two lonely dots that never meant to connect.
Are there plenty of kind and single folks out in the world? Absolutely!
But can we stumble upon all of them in real life by chance? Highly unlikely!
Then why not use dating apps to boost our chances of making connections, right? 😏
Here’s the lowdown: dating apps can help you connect with people beyond your usual network – those living in different cities, countries, or even continents, with different races and backgrounds. They could work in different job fields, represent diverse cultures, and occupy different social positions.
Sure, you could randomly meet a cutie at a coffee shop. You both might not have any mutual friends or prior connections. I’m not suggesting that only by using apps can you meet people outside your network.
What I mean is, dating apps create much more favorable conditions for that. Every coffee outing might result in meeting one person at best, but with dating apps, well, it’s a different story.
#2. Learn About Your Potential Matches Even Before Starting a Conversation
Hehe, here comes a major advantage. Let’s go back to the example of approaching a cutie at the coffee shop from the previous section.
You absolutely can approach potential matches outside your network without a dating app. But can you know:
- How old she is
- What job she’s doing
- If she is currently single and available
- If she is looking for a serious relationship
Right from the first few greetings?
You might, but then it’s unlikely to go beyond that 😅 No smart guy would bombard someone with a barrage of questions right after initiating a conversation.
But with a dating app, that’s pretty normal.
The whole point of a dating app is to provide you with basic information about the other person before you even start talking to them. You can learn a lot about them from the get-go. And you can also share a lot about yourself right from the start.
Now let’s break it down with a relatable example.
Picture this: you’re a single mom in search of a committed relationship. In the real world, spilling such personal details to a new acquaintance can be quite tricky. But, on dating apps, you can smoothly avoid awkward situations like that. Because when someone matches with you on a dating app, you can be sure of two things:
- One, they already know about your situation through what you’ve shared on your profile.
- Two, even knowing that, they still swiped right on you, indicating they’re interested in connecting and learning more about you.
There’s a catch here, though. The info on dating apps isn’t always accurate. People can lie about their age, marital status, job, you name it. But hey, they can do that in real life too. So, the issue of misinformation is more about human nature; let’s not put all the blame on the dating app!
#3. Making the Dating Process More Approachable, Especially for Shy Introverts
Breaking the ice in real life requires confidence, guts, and some hands-on experience. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, you’ve probably felt this kind of pressure, right? For the more introverted or shy types, striking up conversations and making friends in real life can be a bit of a hurdle.
This is where dating apps come in, creating a more relaxed and chill space for making connections.
No need to face the immediate pressure of a live conversation. Instead, we get time to craft, tweak, and shoot off those opening lines through dating apps. And when they hit us back, we’ve got room to ponder our response without worrying they’ll catch onto our quirks or awkward vibes.
And hey, dating apps let us spill the beans about our hobbies and interests in our profiles. Introverts, who are detail-oriented and tuned into subtleties, can carefully scan the other person’s profile to find common interests and kickstart a natural convo.
Some apps like Bumble really switch things up. They boldly take away the pressure for guys to make the first move. With Bumble, if a girl doesn’t shoot the first message within 24 hours of matching, the connection automatically expires. I gotta say, this is a pretty cool and charming twist in Bumble’s game.
What About the Dark Sides of Dating Apps? Are Dating Apps Worth It?
I won’t sugarcoat it; dating apps come with their fair share of downsides:
- Scammers taking advantage of dating apps for scams and fraud.
- Having too many choices at once can lead to overwhelm and burnout.
- Running into folks with abnormal and creepy vibes.
- Doubting your self-worth when dating without results.
- Facing disappointment when the other person suddenly disconnects (ghosting).
- Connections leaning more towards looks and surface-level stuff rather than what’s on the inside.
Among these downsides, the only one I haven’t personally bumped into is scams and fraud. The rest? Well, I’ve experienced those to varying degrees. But why do I still swipe right on dating apps and nudge others to do the same?
Because I reckon most of these glitches happen because we haven’t quite nailed how to use dating apps right and have unrealistic expectations, not because the apps themselves are flawed. I’ll dive deeper into that in the next part.
Let’s Reframe it Like This: Dating Apps Are Like Motorcycles
In a previous post, I compared the dating scene to job hunting. But today, let’s switch gears and see dating apps as a way to get around, like the motorcycles of the dating world.
Back in the day, without motorcycles, you could still walk or pedal a bicycle. Then came along motorcycles, giving you an extra option to zoom from point A to point B a bit quicker.
Of course, riding a motorcycle has its pros and cons. You need a license, it’s pricier than other choices, and if you have an accident, the injuries might be a bit more severe. But that doesn’t mean we toss motorcycles out of our lives entirely. Actually, we just pick whatever gets us where we need to go, depending on how things are at the time.
Yes, we’re totally the ones in the driver’s seat here. Choosing how we get around, picking the dating method that suits us best—all on our terms.
Learning the traffic rules, getting that driver’s license, strapping on a helmet, and staying focused while riding—those are all the things we do to make sure we ride our motorcycles safely. Similarly, if we want to use dating apps safely and effectively, we also need to equip ourselves with the right gear.
It’s about having realistic expectations, adopting a mindful approach, having the right mindset, and, you know, just vibing with yourself. Figuring out what we’re looking for, catching the vibe of our emotions and energy, and then using that self-awareness to fine-tune how you roll with the app.
Should I Try Dating Apps? My Take: Absolutely!
Here’s the deal – dating apps won’t guarantee you a lifelong love affair. But guess what? They’re like extra lanes on the relationship highway, giving you more chances to find that special someone.
Bad apples can be found anywhere, both online and offline. Don’t let a Tinder Swindler incident ruin the whole dating app experience. If you’ve seen the movie, you’d probably agree that those girls fell for it because they were kinda blinded by the glitz and glam.
Cutting it off here feels a bit odd. Since I’ve suggested getting into dating apps, it’s only right to share how to use them right—safe, savvy, and all. I promise there’ll be a post on that, just not today (almost hitting the 3000-word mark, folks!) If you’re genuinely interested, leave a comment to let me know please!
Finding a life partner to join you on this rollercoaster is never an easy feat, whether in real life or on a dating app. I spent a whole weekend on this write-up simply because I believe that “driving” dating apps the right way can make you navigate a bit faster on the road to finding your better half.
Supporting dating apps doesn’t mean I’m turning a blind eye to their dark sides or dismissing the perks of other dating methods. You can still have a motorcycle, ride a bike, and even walk, right?
Homework for the Singles Out There
- Download and install two dating apps right away. It could be Bumble and Facebook dating or OkCupid. Need a profile review or advice on creating a profile that won’t make you cringe? Slide into my inbox. I won’t judge (…much)!
- Flash a smile at the cutie you spot at the coffee shop and drop a casual “Nice weather, huh?”. Let’s see how they respond 🤞
- Let friends and fam know that you’re single and ready to mingle 😏
- Remember the mantra: it’s impossible that everyone you meet will be into you. Rejection is redirection ❤️
That’s four tasks. Hopefully, this post dishes out some fresh takes on love and dating. If you’re single and find dating exhausting, you’re not alone. I can’t tell when your quest will wrap up, but I’m here to make it a bit more meaningful and less stressful, hehe.
Sending love to all my single peeps. Big shoutout to my coworkers for picking this as our debate topic. It gave me a chance to really get into it and sparked some inspiration to finally put an end to my blog’s dry spell =)))
Alright, that’s it.
Love,
Monday.
